“A must-read before you become a mother”
The things 1000 mums wish they knew before having their baby
When a baby is born, so is a mother!
Matrescence is the transformation a woman goes through when she becomes a mother. Like adolescence (see the similarity in name?), matrescence physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually changes women. And like adolescence, we need to talk about it all, so women can be prepared for their journey into, and through, motherhood.
I Wish Someone Had Told Me… is the best baby shower gift mothers can get. It arms moms-to-be and new mums with information that 1000 mothers from around the world wish they knew, before having their babies, to prepare and empower themselves for aspects of matrescence.
Because some things in labour, childbirth and early motherhood are just too gross, embarrassing or uncomfortable to share, many parents don’t find out the truth about what can, and often does happen to women until they go through it themselves.
I Wish Someone Had Told Me… is the baby book packed with honest, medically- and factually-correct, unspoken truths. It openly reveals the gross, embarrassing, funny, rude, uncomfortable and must-share things nobody likes to talk about, but every expectant parent must know.
Dr Jennifer Hacker Pearson holds a PhD in Medicine and degree in Psychotherapy. She wrote this book as a mother for mothers, because she wants every woman to be adequately prepared for the transformation of becoming a mother.
Reviews for I Wish Someone Had Told Me…
It is the best book I read while pregnant; I found it fully prepared me for the birth and the somewhat challenging time after I had my little girl. I don’t think my birth experience would have been so amazing if I hadn’t read this book
~ Maddie M
What an amazing read. Would highly recommend!!!! What makes it so great is how informative, real and funny it is.
~ Samantha R
Insightful and funny! This wonderful book delivers on all levels for new mamas! ~ Steph B
There are so few books of this genre that cut the crap and tell it how it is, but this one does it with a perfect blend of wit and humor.
~ Craig A
This gem of a book unapologetically brings to light facts and issues we’ve previously been too scared or embarrassed to talk about.
~ Paula W
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… giving birth is nothing like in the movies
Yes, let’s just throw that myth out right from the start. Hollywood lies! There is so much more to it than pant…scream…swear…push…baby! The image of Rachel in Friends having her baby comes to mind. Her make-up is immaculate; her hair is in gorgeous pigtails. She has a little sweat on her brow and, although she is apparently in a lot of pain, she is totally lucid making smart comments to everyone including the obstetrician. If you have that image of childbirth in your mind’s eye, please wipe it now. That’s not what happens in real life. Real childbirth is so much more, let’s call it juicy.
… how totally messy childbirth is
Some things in life we should really be warned about, this is one of them… You may be aware that having a baby is messy but probably not the extent of messiness involved. After my first boy was born Hubs dared to go down “the other end” (cue scary music!). He said it looked like I had been attacked by a grizzly bear. And that’s just the blood and gashes. Throw into the mix poo, wee, sweat, tears, vomit and bucket loads of amniotic fluid, and you have yourself one very normal, natural childbirth.
… I would easily breastfeed after having a caesarean
A friend of mine had a scheduled caesarean recently. Throughout her pregnancy “well-wishers” and “kind strangers” told her that she would have trouble breastfeeding after her caesarean. Great tip, thanks folks! It stressed her out a lot (as you can imagine) but once her baby was here she fed like a champ, right from the beginning. For some reason people thought (and some well-wishers still do) that a C-section slows your milk coming in. Not true! Milk starts being produced when the placenta is delivered; which happens no matter how you birth your baby. Provided your baby gets the paediatrician’s OK and you are up for it, you may even start feeding in the operating room while they are stitching you up. Which of course gets you bonding, so it’s a win-win. Having said that, if you have a caesarean and choose not to breastfeed, it doesn’t mean you won’t bond with your baby instantly. Bonding skin-on-skin contact is blissful, nurturing and such a wonderful way to start your life together.
… that haemorrhoids may stick around after giving birth
I know, way too much information! But you’re reading this book so I am guessing deep down you do want to know. Haemorrhoids don’t always disappear after you have your baby. And by that I mean they can stick around, or stick out if you prefer, for a while (like months!!!) after you have given birth. As they’re varicose, i.e. swollen, veins of the anus (super, thanks for sharing!), they will disappear when the swelling subsides. Just in case you weren’t grossed out enough, I had them post all three of my kidlets. They made doing number 2s so painful (the haemorrhoids that is, not the kids), even weeks after I had given birth. I remember there were a couple of times I even cried during a bowel movement, and yes, I was already on the laxatives. Some say push them back in, some say let them hang out, either way try and minimise the time they call your bum their home by looking after yourself (and them).
… PND is not just depression
Postnatal depression (PND) is a serious and vast topic. I won’t go into it too much in this book, but because it is so important I just want to outline the following essential things… PND can be lots of things not just depression. I actually didn’t know this, so when Hubs asked me, soon after #3 was born, if I thought maybe I had PND I dismissed it immediately; I wasn’t depressed, I was stressed! It wasn’t until #3 was about 15 months old and I was writing this chapter of the book and extensively researching PND I thought maybe I had had it. Was my “nervous breakdown due to severe sleep-deprivation” in fact PND, specifically PNA (postnatal anxiety), in my case? I guess I will never know. PND and PNA can manifest as a range of feelings including[simple_tooltip content=’Perinatal anxiety and depression Australia. Postnatal anxiety and depression <http://www.panda.org.au/practical-information/about-postnatal-depression/28-postnatal-depression?showall=&start=1> Accessed 7 March 2016′]4[/simple_tooltip]: low self-esteem and lack of confidence, feelings of inadequacy and guilt, negative thoughts, feelings of life being meaningless, feeling unable to cope, tearfulness and irritability, difficulty sleeping or changes in sleeping patterns (aside from baby’s influence), anxiety, panic attacks or heart palpitations, loss of appetite and difficulty concentrating or remembering things. Yes, having three kids in three-and-a-half years was a stressful event in itself but in hindsight I certainly could identify with a lot of those feelings. Please, please, please say something if you are not feeling “right” after having your baby. Admission of such feelings is not a sign of weakness, it shows you are strong. Empower yourself by putting your hand up.
Excerpted from I Wish Someone Had Told Me… by Dr Jennifer Hacker Pearson PhD Copyright © 2017 by Jennifer Hacker Pearson. Excerpted by permission of Powered by Fear Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
*I would like to write new mom or mom-to-be but I am Australian, and the general population of Australia may disown me if I spell mum that way.
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5% of each book sold through this website is donated to the
Catherine Hamlin Fistula Foundation
THE CATHERINE HAMLIN FISTULA FOUNDATION IS A CAUSE CLOSE TO MY HEART, BECAUSE...
… it is dedicated to the treatment and prevention of childbirth injuries called obstetric fistulas
I had an obstructed labour with my first son and I thank my lucky stars that I was in the fantastic hospital I was in. All I ended up with was extensive tearing (and a healthy baby). Thanks to the amazing and immediate care I received I don’t have any complications nor repercussions due to this delivery, even after having two more vaginal births.
I feel for the mothers who Hamlin Fistula Ethiopia care for and I know that in a different time, in a different place, I could have easily endured an obstetric fistula myself, and probably my son would not have survived.
Please have a look at their website www.hamlin.org.au