Episode #15: The 50 Shades of Motherhood spectrum – every mother sits on it, but did you know you can change your location?

Episode #15: The 50 Shades of Motherhood spectrum – every mother sits on it, but did you know you can change your location?

“Taking the time to train your brain to thrive in motherhood, is the most important self-care”

Download your FREE E-Book How to be a Happy Mother

For information, tips and support in your journey into and through motherhood follow Tough Mothers on Facebook and Instagram

This episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV is about as action-packed as motherhood.
It was such a pleasure to speak with Dr. Melissa Raymond from Your Journey to Healing in February 2021 for the Healthy Mums Health Families Summit.

We covered so much in our conversation!
From my journey into and out of postnatal anxiety, to the need to stop giving all of ourselves to motherhood, to the 50 Shades of Motherhood and how you can thrive amongst them all. There is even a FREE motherhood meditation in there that takes just a few minutes but will start you on your journey to training your brain to thrive in motherhood.

All mothers will benefit from this episode, because it:

♥    Teaches you about matrescence, the transition into motherhood – how it changes mothers’ brains and how you can use this transformation to truly thrive in motherhood.

   Explains the 50 Shades of Motherhood spectrum – a spectrum ALL mothers sit on – and teaches you strategies for how you can manoeuvre your way around the shades to initiate your happiness in motherhood.

   Gives you strategies to start training your own brain to truly thrive in motherhood. There is also a FREE E-Book for you to download to start the brain training (see mentions in this episode).

   Gives you a mother moment time-out: a powerful, yet brief motherhood meditation that will positively affect your brain and mind.

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.
Or hit the play button below and watch the full episode on YouTube.
Key takeaways from this episode [podcast, TV]:

[5.22, 4.52]
Is it true that the more of yourself you give, the better a mother you are?

“It’s easy to lose yourself in motherhood, but it is at your detriment.”

[6.27, 5.57]
Learn what matrescence is and why you must prepare yourself for the transition into motherhood before you become a mother.

“We are mothering in a completely different world – the village mums had is largely non-existent now.”

[11.40, 11.10]
Mama, are you aware of your thoughts?
How my negative thoughts created my negative motherhood experience. And how your negative thoughts can ruin your experience too.

“Don’t believe everything you tell yourself!”

[17.36, 17.06]
Learn about the 50 Shades of Motherhood spectrum that all mums sit on. What is it, where do you sit on it, and why you must know how to get from one end of the spectrum to the other. The visual spectrum is attached in the mentions in this episode below. Check it out and in the comments below let me know where you sit.

[23.20, 21.50]
Matrescence is the perfect time to work on creating the brain you want, so you can create the motherhood life you want. Learn how to do that in this episode.

“Don’t feel that just because motherhood is currently hard, that it will always be hard – you CAN train your brain to thrive and be happy!”

*Matrescence is the developmental transition women go through when we become mothers. It is all encompassing – physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual. Matrescence transforms us. We need to learn about it, so we can be prepared, feel we are not alone and learn tools for how to use this transition to thrive.

[26.00, 25.30]
Imagine if you trained your brain like you train your body.
Mental health needs to be treated equally to physical health, including the exercises we do. The effects the exercises have is exactly the same – the brain is like a muscle!

“For some reason somewhere along the line we separated the brain and the body, but they are very much connected.”

[28.40, 28.10]
Enjoy your FREE motherhood meditation – it only takes a couple of minutes and has powerful results.

“The brain doesn’t know what is real and what is not. Learn how to use this to your advantage and thrive.”

[35.25, 31.55]
It’s important to not lose ourselves in motherhood.
You can give yourself, but not all of yourself all of the time. Motherhood is a great time to learn to love your new self and your new life. Make sure you make yourself a priority in motherhood.

“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”- Carl Jung

Download your FREE E-Book How to be a Happy Mother
Mentions in this episode:

♥   Tough Mothers courses implement a three-step framework to:

1) help mothers understand how motherhood changes their brain
2) how to strengthen their brain by training it to thrive in motherhood.
3) Teach simple, specific exercises mothers can fit into their busy day to train their brain to thrive in motherhood

♥   Buy your copy of the paperback and Kindle/electronic version of I Wish Someone Had Told Me – unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour, childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood by Dr Jennifer Hacker Pearson PhD

♥   The 50 Shades of Motherhood spectrum – for more information about it and to work with Dr Jen click here

Who is one person that would benefit from the information in this episode?

Forward it to them! There are icons at the top of this page to make that really easy.

Check out the Tough Mothers Library for more episodes

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN!

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

Leave a review for the podcast or on my YouTube channel, and you can win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

You are not alone!

Get amazing motherhood support in our private Facebook village. We would love to have you there.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?
Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie
In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Episode #14: How to support your teenager’s mental health

Episode #14: How to support your teenager’s mental health

For information, tips and support in motherhood follow Tough Mothers on Facebook and Instagram

“You have to keep yourself well in order to keep them well.”

Warning: this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV mentions self-harm and suicide attempts. If you require help, PLEASE see your GP or the list of services at the bottom of this article.

 When Melanie Medland  found her type A-personality teenage daughter suddenly couldn’t cope with life, she was naturally alarmed. Melanie’s daughter, who was always very capable,  suddenly withdrew, had trouble sleeping, forgot things and her eating patterns changed. Not having come across this before Melanie was questioning if this was just part of normal adolescence, but in her gut she knew. Her daughter was very unwell.

 In this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV, Meanie takes us into her family’s difficult time: how her daughter’s anxiety and depression made Melanie question herself and her parenting, how Melanie found her strength and the language to speak to her teenage daughter, and how she uses the enormous amount of hard won experience and knowledge she gained while successfully nurturing her daughter through her illness, to support and coach parents who are facing similar battles.  

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit the play button below and watch the full episode on YouTube.

Key takeaways from this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV:

♥   Speak to people about your experience in parenting, even if you feel they will judge you as a mother. Chances are they have a similar experience to you.

   Many parents experience mental health issues with their teenager, and have the same fears.

   To effectively parent, you must tap into your motherhood intuition and trust yourself.

   There is a transition in motherhood when our children become teenagers. It is part of matrescence*.

   Mental and physical health needs to be nurtured equally. 

Matrescence is a developmental transition women go through when we become mothers. It is all encompassing – physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual. Matrescence transforms us, that is why we feel different when we become mothers.

In this episode [podcast, TV]:
[3.37, 3.40]

Teenager’s mental health can lead to parents losing confidence in themselves. It is imperative we speak to other parents of teenagers.

We feel we are alone in our struggles but speaking to other parents we realise we are not. And it allows them to feel they’re not alone also.

“That whole mental health stigma comes up [when you shy away from speaking to other parents]- will they be judging my child and me as a bad parent?”

[5.33, 3.40]

How to know if your teenager is suffering from anxiety and depression, or if it’s just normal teenage behaviour. Melanie also revisits this, in detail, later in the program [30.20, 3.40].

Melanie’s daughter’s symptoms:
Pains attack
Anxiety
Depression
Self-harm
Suicidal ideation

“You know your child. Trust yourself.”

[7.45, 3.40]
Challenges of the transition for mothers through matrescence – from soothing their kids’ scuffed knees, to suspecting something might be mentally troubling them. As our children grow and change, we grow and change. This is also part of matrescence, just a different phase.

[10.00, 3.40]
The importance of finding people who understand you because they’ve been through it with their child or are going through it themselves.

[13.06, 3.40]
Our generation are the one who need to bring mental health chats into parenting. No generation before us ever did, so we don’t have any models in place about how to chat to our children about mental health. WE need to create these models.

“It’s important to play the love card.”

[16.00, 3.40]
Melanie’s amazing and innovative ways of helping teenagers with mental health issues, which she implemented successfully to help her daughter get better.

[20.00, 3.40]
One of the most important things to help your teenager is to keep the channels of communication open. Be their support person first, their mother second.

“It is her journey. It is not my journey”

[23.45, 3.40]
As mothers our selfcare is absolutely paramount.

“You have to keep yourself well in order to keep them well”

[25.59, 3.40]

There is support for parents who are going through mental health issues with their teenagers.

Melanie shares the proven techniques of how to connect with your teenager and how to ask those tough questions

“Mental health and physical health need the same nurturing”

Download Melanie’s FREE resource Self harm: what you need to know to help your teen

Mentions in this episode:

♥   Tough Mothers courses implement a three-step framework to:

1) help mothers understand how motherhood changes their brain
2) how to strengthen their brain by training it to thrive in motherhood.
3) Teach simple, specific exercises mothers can fit into their busy day to train their brain to thrive in motherhood

♥   Moving Through with Melanie

Moving Through is a personal response to Melanie’s eldest daughter’s battle with anxiety and depression in 2018. Melanie spent 6 months nursing her through her illness successfully and now Melanie has an enormous amount of hard-won experience and knowledge to share with other parents who are facing similar battles.

Melanie is passionate about changing the conversations around mental health, especially anxiety and depression, and would like to see mental health issues discussed openly with no shame or judgement attached to them.

Teenagers are at an age and stage of their lives where they need lots of support. It can be incredibly tough to be 100% present and available for them. Unfortunately, too many teens are falling through the cracks of our health system and parents and families are struggling to support them as they transition from childhood to becoming young adults in our society.

We have all heard the saying ‘It takes a village to raise a child’ and I believe this has never been more important. Today’s teens are facing issues we would never have dreamt of as we were growing up. The structure of families is changing, and we all need to be prepared to step in and help out with raising teenagers that will be able to contribute to our collective futures in a healthy and productive way.

You can find out more about Melanie and Moving Through at www.movingthrough.net or on Facebook

Who is one person that would benefit from the information in this episode?

Forward it to them! There are icons at the top of this page to make that really easy.

Check out the Tough Mothers Library for more episodes

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN!

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

Leave a review for the podcast or on my YouTube channel, and you can win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

You are not alone!

Get amazing motherhood support in our private Facebook village. We would love to have you there.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?
Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Episode #13: Finding a silver lining in your postpartum experience

Episode #13: Finding a silver lining in your postpartum experience

For information, tips and support in motherhood follow Tough Mothers on Facebook and Instagram

“Even when I was in the depths of my unwellness I would say to myself: something good is going to come from this. Something beautiful is going to come from this. And it did.”

Your postpartum (or postnatal, depending on where you live) experience will be unique. I say that because when you enter motherhood, or matrescence*, you enter it as your unique self, with your unique biological make-up, your unique previous experiences, your unique neuroscience.
So, you won’t know how postpartum will be for you, until you are in it.

Yes, sometimes there are neurobiological predictors, but often women are surprised when they enter their 4th trimester.

*Matrescence is a developmental transition women go through when we become mothers. It is all encompassing – physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual. Matrescence transforms us, that is why we feel different when we become mothers.

Katie R. was one of these mums. Katie felt a bit down during pregnancy and was worried about postnatal depression. However, what her 4th trimester brought was the exact opposite. Katie was up, not down!

Because Katie experienced bipolar symptoms, and not stock-standard depression or anxiety it took some time for her to get the help she needed.

Today Katie bravely shares with us her postpartum mania experience, and how she found her silver lining by going within herself and bringing out the best in herself. She intuitively turned her postpartum mental health experience, something that society deems terrible and “negative”, into a blessing for herself.

“It’s up to me, I can choose if I’m a victim or I can choose if I’m a survivor”

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit the play button below and watch the full episode on YouTube.

Key takeaways from this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV:

♥   Depression and anxiety are not the only things we must look out for in postpartum mothers.

   You will know if you don’t feel OK, and you must speak up!

   Your postpartum experience does not need to shape the rest of your life.

   Sometimes wonderful things come from our darkest experiences.

   Mental health is something that affects everyone. There is no shame in it.

Matrescence is a time of great change. You will feel different. It is important to keep an eye out whether your feelings are different to what you would expect for you.

In this episode [podcast, TV]:

[3.00, 2.30]
Katie’s explanation of how she felt different is magnificant. She found that everyone, including postpartum support, family and ourselves, keep an eye out for symptoms of depression and anxiety. But there are other things we must look out for.

Symptoms for postpartum mania include irritability, racing thoughts, decreased sleep, overactivity and grandiose ideas (just to name a few).

Can you see how these can also be viewed as normal in motherhood?

So, it is really important to tune into yourself to see if it feels normal, or not, for you.

[14.25, 13.55]
Katie shares beautifully, and in detail, how postnatal mania feels – the positives and the negatives – and how her postpartum bipolar experience escalated for her, leading to her worst fears coming true!

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms or just don’t feel right in your postpartum journey, please reach out. There are links to services around the world at the bottom of this article.

[21.50, 21.20]
When Katie was diagnosed with postpartum bipolar, she was told what it might be like and what her limitations might be. She asked herself: “am I going to accept that or is there something else I can look into and reclaim for myself?”

Her mind and her language were an integral part in this.

“The words I AM are so powerful. I don’t say I am bipolar. I say I live with bipolar.”

[25.20, 24.50]
Katie shares her tips for mums who are experiencing postnatal bipolar and encourages everyone to share their story.

“Mental health is normal. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Mental health affects all different people from all walks of life.”

“Give your mental health, as much weight as your physical health.
Because it is just as important, if not more”

Who is one person that would benefit from the information in this episode?

Forward it to them! There are icons at the top of this page to make that really easy.

Mentions in this episode:

♥   Katie’s beautiful poem:

Baby cries
And so will I
It is a way of saying
I have a need
I just don’t have words right now
I am trying to treat myself like a newborn
Gently, kindly
With care. With care.

   You can find out more about Katie and read her amazing poetry at www.compassionpoetry.co.nz and on Instagram

Check out the Tough Mothers Library for more episodes

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN!

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

Leave a review for the podcast or on my YouTube channel, and you can win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

You are not alone!

Get amazing motherhood support in our private Facebook village. We would love to have you there.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?
Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Episode #7: Subconscious negative thoughts in motherhood: what they are, where they are, and how you can change them TODAY

Episode #7: Subconscious negative thoughts in motherhood: what they are, where they are, and how you can change them TODAY

Photo of Rebecca Anderson

“Our thoughts lie to us – we must remember that!”

As we go through matrescence – the transition from woman to mother – there are times when we will be plagued by negative thoughts.
For example: what if my baby stops breathing in the night?
Or: I should get the kids off their devices and outside more.
Or: I am a bad mother!

These thoughts will come.
However, we must be aware that they are there. Otherwise we give our subconscious negative thoughts the power to ruin our lives.

How do we prevent this?
We must take control of our mind, and thereby change our brain.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:

  • ✓ Our constant internal chatter dictates the quality of our life
  • ✓  What subconscious negative thoughts are
  • ✓  To identify your true thoughts – fact vs fiction
  • ✓  How subconscious negative thinking is destructive
  • ✓  The 5 evidence-based steps you can take today to change your subconscious negative thoughts

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit play and watch the full episode on YouTube.

The struggles and triumphs of pregnancy and motherhood in a foreign country
The important take-aways from this episode are:
  • We all have subconscious thoughts  Podcast [3.27], TV [2.57]

“Subconscious thoughts, our internal chatter, is always there, which is why it is so important that what we are telling ourselves is not negative”

  • In motherhood, and during matrescence, there are neurochemical changes in the brain which make subconscious negative thinking more prevalent Podcast [4.20], TV [3.50]

Matrescence – the transition from woman to mother – is one of the most life-changing transitions a woman will ever go through.
We are changed – physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.

  • Learn to be curious and discerning about your thoughts – find the fact from fiction Podcast [5.50], TV [5.20]

“Our thoughts lie to us ALL THE TIME!”

NB. By all the time I of course do not mean EVERY TIME!

  • Subconscious negative thoughts are extremely destructive. Apart from the obvious, there are 3 main reasons why Podcast 6.37], TV [6.07]
  • For the same reasons, subconscious positive thinking is so beneficial Podcast [8.17], TV [7.43]
  • You can start to change your subconscious negative thinking TODAY, with 5 simple evidence-based steps Podcast [8.50], TV [8.20]

“We must eliminate subconscious negative thinking as much as possible for a healthy life”

I would love to hear from you

What insights did you have when you watched this episode?

How could these potentially change your motherhood experience and life?

Leave a comment below and tell us about it! Many mums come here to find support, and your experience or story may help one of them.

Who is one person that would benefit from watching this episode? – Share it with them through the icons at the top of this article 😉

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

And YOU CAN WIN!

Leave a review for the podcast  or on my YouTube channel, as I draw a random reviewer each month to win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get all the motherhood support at our village.

Mentions In This Episode

1. You can purchase a copy of my book which Jackie T won
I Wish Someone Had Told Me… – unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour, childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood
https://www.ToughMothers.com/books

2. For neuropsychological support with your subconscious negative thoughts, and motherhood and matrescence head to https://www.ToughMothers.com/courses

3. Learn more about Dr Jennifer Hacker Pearson PhD
https://www.ToughMothers.com/about

Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?

Episode #3: How to nourish yourself after having your baby

Episode #3: How to nourish yourself after having your baby

Photo of Rebecca Anderson

“We live in a society where our self-worth has become defined by what we look like”

Hands up if you want lose baby weight?
Or any weight for that matter?
Most mothers focus on bouncing back to their pre-baby weight or figure, at some stage after they have had a baby. But is this the right approach?

Internationally-recognised dietitian Rachael Wilson joins me in this episode to talk about how our bodies change when we have a baby, how we can learn to embrace our new figures, and how we should nourish ourselves to achieve optimum physical and mental health, not just to lose baby weight, but for a healthy motherhood life.

Rachael believes that we should throw out all the scales and measuring units, and instead focus on nourishing ourselves in a kind way – which leads to far better results.

How do you do this?

Rachael shares with us her tips to achieve this, and create a whole new, far better, relationship with our post-baby body.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:

  • ✓ How to nourish yourself in a kind and caring way
  • ✓ The importance of self-compassion and accepting your new body
  • ✓ Why real health comes from the inside and how to access it
  • ✓ Intuitive and mindful eating for your own individual genetic makeup

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit play and watch the full episode on YouTube.

 

The important take-aways from this episode are:

Statistics show 8 out 10 women feel bad about their bodies

  • You’ve carried a child, you’ve created a life! Your body will change  Podcast [5.30], TV [5.00]

This is a major part of matrescence and the transition a woman goes through when she becomes a mother.

Matrescence – the transition from woman to mother – is one of the most life-changing transitions a woman will ever go through. We are changed – physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.

  • We must let go of the perception of being the perfect mother and having the perfect body. It is not real!  Podcast [7.10], TV [6.40]

In this day and age when we don’t have a village to support us like we used to. We try to do it all, and it is just not possible to do everything “perfectly”.

“Children need to see us being imperfect, because life isn’t perfect”

  • Rachael’s tips for nourishing yourself after having your baby  Podcast [8.50], TV [8.20]
  • Acknowledge the change is normal
  • Self-acceptance
  • Mindful self-compassion (check out Rachael’s guided mindful body self-compassion audio practice in the Mentions In This Episode at the bottom of this article)
  • Studies have shown DIETING DOES NOT WORK!  Podcast [10.55], TV [10.25]

Find out what you must do instead to have positive outcomes for our physical and mental wellbeing.

“There is so much focus on getting our bodies “back”, there should also be more focus on the mind during the postpartum period”

  • We need to re-train our brain to achieve optimum physical and mental health Podcast [13.26], TV [12.56]

TIP: Don’t focus on the negative, but ask yourself: what can I do for myself in this moment to make myself feel better.

  • Gratitude is important in rewiring our brain, to lead to more fulfillment Podcast [18.40], TV [18.10]

It is also important to change our thinking around situations. Instead of saying ‘I look fat in my bathing suit’, saying ‘I give myself and my body the gift of swimming in the sea’ has a much more beneficial effect on our brain.

Start rewiring your brain
Exercise: List 3 things you are grateful for about your body

  • Research shows, it is our health behaviours that make us healthy, not the numbers on the scales Podcast [23.40], TV [23.10]

Do you have the right behaviours that are healthy for you?

  • In motherhood, preparation is key for when hunger suddenly shows up Podcast [30.20], TV [29.50]

Rachael is kindly giving us access to her E-Book to help mums with this, for FREE. You can download it in Mentions In This Episode at the bottom of this article. Did I mention she is us giving to us for FREE? smile

I loved this interview with Rachael!
Her unique way to lose baby weight, no matter how long since you have had your baby, will no doubt benefit many mothers.

Let me know in the comments what you think. And if you have tried it, let me know how it worked for you.
It certainly made me re-evaluate my eating behaviours.

My KEY TAKEAWAY (no pun intended) FROM THIS EPISODE:
We must be kind and compassionate to ourselves – when we are kind to ourselves, our relationship with our bodies, and subsequently with food, is much better.

 

I would love to hear from you

What insights did you have when you watched this episode?

How could these potentially change your motherhood experience and life?

Leave a comment below and tell us about it! Many mums come here to find support, and your experience or story may help one of them.

Who is one person that would benefit from watching this episode? – Share it with them through the icons at the top of this article 😉

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

And YOU CAN WIN!

Leave a review for the podcast  or on my YouTube channel, as I draw a random reviewer each month to win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get all the motherhood support at our village.

Mentions In This Episode

The photoshopped baby

Even babies are photoshopped these days!
Image supplied by Rachael Wilson

Photos of real post-baby bodies
https://www.jadebeall.com/index/

The Food Tree (be sure to also check out their awesome programs!)
https://www.thefoodtree.co

Download Rachael’s Gentle Nutrition For Mums E-Book FREE 
https://www.thefoodtree.co/gentle nutrition

Rachael’s wonderful guided mindfulness body self-compassion audio practice. It’s only 14 minutes long and totally worth the listen. Access it HERE.

Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

 

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox before they are released?

Episode #2: What I learnt from my own struggle with postpartum anxiety (and why Tough Mothers exists)

Episode #2: What I learnt from my own struggle with postpartum anxiety (and why Tough Mothers exists)

Photo of Rebecca Anderson

“I didn’t realise that out of my crisis the greatest gift would come”

I was lying on the couch wrapped in blankets. It was December in Australia, so it was hot! Yet I was shivering; my anxiety had total control of me.

My third baby was only a couple of months old, and unlike with my first two, the transition into motherhood pulled the rug out from under me. Literally.

I never intended to become a matrescence (the transition a woman goes through when she becomes a mother) and motherhood specialist. However, after I recovered from my postnatal / postpartum breakdown, I knew:

“If my strategy could help me, it could help other mothers”

And it has.

Tough Mothers and its courses were created to help mothers who, during matrescence, feel like the rug has been pulled out from under them.

Matrescence – the transition from woman to mother – is one of the most life-changing transitions a woman will ever go through.
We are changed – physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.

We are literally transformed. And we can use these changes, with some simple strategies, to create the life we desire, and become the woman (and mother) we have always wanted to be.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:

  • ✓ How gifts come out of struggles. Even when we think the struggle is a curse.
  • ✓ The importance of learning about ourselves and our own brain
  • ✓ How you can help yourself in motherhood

“The brain controls everything. We must be in charge of our brain and mind. Otherwise life will run off on us”

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app.

Or hit play and watch the full episode on YouTube.

 

The important take-aways from this episode are:

  • Birth does not always go to plan  Podcast [5.20], TV [4.50]

It is important to have an ideal birth plan. However, it is more important to be flexible, as childbirth rarely goes to plan.

  • You don’t know when the motherhood transition will knock you off your feet  Podcast [13.32], TV [13.02]

You can experience psychological challenges that come with motherhood at any stage in motherhood – it could be with your first baby or it could be with your last (like it was with me).

The manifestation of the transition into motherhood is probably different; but the transition is the same for every mother

  • You must have tools going into motherhood Podcast [16.40], TV [16.10]

The intricacies of the tools each mother must take into, and through, matrescence with her are individual. However, the tools themselves are the same.
These include:

  • Meditation
  • Mindfulness
  • Exercise
  • Nutrition
  • A good support network
  • Sound knowledge of your brain and mind – and tools of how to influence them. The Tough Mothers courses can help you with this 
  • Work with an expert who can help you delve deep into your neuroscience and psychology, so you gain insight into yourself
  • If you are stuck in life, you must look elsewhere for solutions.  Podcast [23.13], TV [22.43]

You must open your mind to new ideas and possibilities.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results” – Anon

  • The importance of inner work and mindfulness in our life Podcast [25.30], TV [25.00]

The key to inner peace is inner work. There is no shortcut or hack. The quicker we find our direction to what we need to do to become the person we want to be, the sooner we will feel contentment.

  • Meditation – why we all should meditate every day Podcast [25.30], TV [25.00]

The scientific evidence behind the benefits of meditation are phenomenal. As a parent having a calm mind is imperative for a calm motherhood life. But it doesn’t just lead to calm, meditation also changes the brain for the better.

I have tried several forms of meditation but found Vedic meditation to be the best for my life because it is quick, effortless and noticeably transformative. Learn about the course I did HERE.

  • As a mother you have to prioritise yourself – you have to be at the top of your pyramid Podcast [25.30], TV [25.00]

“If you imagine a champagne glass tower, where champagne glasses are stacked on top of each other. If the top glass (you!) isn’t full of champagne, nothing can trickle into the other glasses beneath it (your kids, your family, the rest of your life etc).”

  • Because matrescence changes us, and our brain, we need to have a plan for ourselves during matrescence. Podcast [33.20], TV [32.50]

This plan must consist of tools and strategies specifically to the individual mother.

“Tough Mothers came about because I realised that we are sent into this massive life-changing transition of matrescence without a plan. And we really need a plan for ourselves in motherhood.”

  • The tools and strategies we choose for ourselves rewire our brain Podcast [37.50], TV [37.20]

Our brains are individually shaped and wired due to our experiences and our actions – in the present and in the past. Tough Mothers takes your unique make up (your ingredients in your pantry) and helps you create an individual recipe just for you to bake your perfect cake, i.e. create the life you want to live.

“You must not lose yourself in motherhood – you have to make yourself comfortable in your new role.”

In future episodes, Marcus and I will be delving into the practical tools and strategies you can use, so be sure to listen and watch upcoming episodes. Or even better, REGISTER TODAY to receive each new episode straight into your inbox

I would love to hear from you

What insights did you have when you watched this episode?

How could these potentially change your motherhood experience and life?

Leave a comment below and tell us about it! Many mums come here to find support, and your experience or story may help one of them.

Who is one person that would benefit from watching this episode? – Share it with them through the icons at the top of this article 😉

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

And YOU CAN WIN!

Leave a review for the podcast  or on my YouTube channel, as I draw a random reviewer each month to win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get all the motherhood support at our village.

Mentions in this episode

The book: I Wish Someone Had Told Me… – unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour, childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood
https://www.ToughMothers.com/books

Faster Deeper Bliss – 21 day meditation course with Tom Cronin
https://www.ToughMothers.com/meditation

Tough Mothers Courses
https://www.ToughMothers.com/courses

Thich Nhat Hanh – Living Without Stress and Fear CD set
https://www.plumvillage.org/about/thich-nhat-hanh

Champagne glass tower image courtesy of A Beautiful Mess
https://abeautifulmess.com/how-to-build-a-champagne-tower/ 

Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

 

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