Episode #18: A mother’s guide to decluttering your mind and your home with Clutter Mentalist Collette Barker

Episode #18: A mother’s guide to decluttering your mind and your home with Clutter Mentalist Collette Barker

For information, tips and support in your journey into and through motherhood follow Tough Mothers on Facebook and Instagram

“People before things. Always”

Collette Barker is the Clutter Mentalist! Isn’t that a great title?

Well, Collette is a great human! Not only does she have a unique gift to declutter your home and your mind, she also has four gorgeous girls, was a Plunket nurse (New Zealand’s early childhood health centre), and is ridiculously funny. I mean laugh-out-loud funny.

Having grown up in a cluttered home Collette embarked on a mission to help herself and other mothers overcome home clutter, one useful and easy step at a time. Resulting in not just a decluttered home but also a decluttered mind.

In this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV Collette shares with us hilarious stories from her motherhood life, and how her home changed from having no babies through to her fourth baby. She generously walks us through her amazing, useful and simple decluttering tips, which we can all implement today to declutter our home and our mind.

Key takeaways from this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV:

♥    Don’t ever compare your home or your mothering to anybody else

♥    Don’t undervalue motherhood as a job

♥    Clutter in the home need not be clutter in the mind

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit the play button below and watch the full episode on YouTube

In this episode you will learn [Podcast, TV  time points]:

[5.35 5.15]

Don’t ever compare your house to others! This goes for your parenting and your home. If your amount of clutter works for you, fabulous. It doesn’t matter what people think. However, if your clutter doesn’t work for you, you absolutely can change it. Collette gives us some great tips how to get rid of clutter.

“One person’s clutter is another person’s tidy”

[8.00, 7.30]

With each baby your mothering will change. Collette shares with us her hilarious confessions of how she mothered baby number 1 versus number 4, and how her home changed with each child #DomesticGoddess

“The next baby taught me that everything I knew was in fact wrong”.

[14.15, 13.45]

Let’s chat co-sleeping! Many mothers dream that they are rolling onto or smothering their baby. We talk through these and the many safety things you need to consider when sleeping with your baby, in your bed.

“I was certain that as soon as I fell asleep next to my babies they would die”

[19.55, 19.25]

It’s important to remember that looking after children is just as much a job as any other job.
(How cute is this photo pf Collette’s girls?)

“If you can walk out of the house with it being a mess but are looking after your child’s needs, you have aced your job.”

 

[22.30, 22.00]

If mess in your house is driving you crazy Collette has these tips to support your mental health. Collette’s strategy focuses on psychology and what works for each individual home.

[26.58, 26.28]

When it comes to managing your home, your children and your clutter, it is important to work with your weaknesses. Do what works for you. Don’t make it difficult. Motherhood is hard enough. Collette has some great examples of how to do this.

“You have to work with your habits, not create whole new ones.”

Mentions in this episode:

♥    Because Mum Life gets busy and many noteworthy things happen, Collette has created an amazing little book that you can add all your experiences, incidences and funny things your kids say and do to. Just so you don’t forget them 😊 Contact Collette HERE if you would like to know more.

♥   I Wish Someone Had Told Me… – unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood.
Get your FREE E-book with the top 7 truths from the book HERE

♥   Tough Mothers courses implement a three-step framework to:

1) help mothers understand how motherhood changes their brain
2) how to strengthen their brain by training it to thrive in motherhood.
3) Teach simple, specific exercises mothers can fit into their busy day to train their brain to thrive in motherhood

A little more about my guest Collette Barker:

Youngest of 7 and mother of 4, Collette is a clutter mentalist and productivity freak. She grew up in a home FILLED with loads of stuff, and she’s no minimalist herself. A busy mum juggling family, community, work and all the normal things (and occasionally nailing it). She figures out the underlying determinants unique to each family’s cluttered home. Then together they rearrange the spaces to make the right habits easy to keep. Removing the power from ‘the stuff’ and giving it back to the people, so they never again have a moment’s [completely unfounded and totally ridiculous] guilt about what they own and how they keep it. 

 Book Collette Now or learn more about her decluttering business, Supreme Organising, HERE .

Who is one person that would benefit from the information in this episode?

Forward it to them! There are icons at the top of this page to make that really easy.

Check out the Tough Mothers Library for more episodes

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN!

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

Leave a review for the podcast or on my YouTube channel, and you can win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

You are not alone!

Get amazing motherhood support in our private Facebook village. We would love to have you there.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?
Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie
In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Episode #17: How to Find Your Light in Motherhood with Life Coach Dasha Okonji

Episode #17: How to Find Your Light in Motherhood with Life Coach Dasha Okonji

For information, tips and support in your journey into and through motherhood follow Tough Mothers on Facebook and Instagram

“The [motherhood] shift was nothing like I thought of, dreamed of or prepared myself for”

Dasha Okonji is a mum of 3 gorgeous boys and a life coach. Like many mums, during matrescence* Dasha felt she lost herself in motherhood. She went on a journey to rediscover herself, find herself again and find the light in motherhood.

It was through her struggles in motherhood that Dasha turned to her life coaching tools and knowledge to pave her way out of the overwhelm and darkness that motherhood brought her.

In this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV, Dasha shares with us her powerful story and explicit steps of how she found her way, and how you can too. From getting to know ourselves again properly as we navigate through matrescence, to seeing what is important and how we can give more time to the things that are important to us, without sacrificing ourselves.

*Matrescence is the developmental transition women go through when we become mothers. It is all encompassing – physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual. Matrescence transforms us, that is why we feel different when we become mothers.
Key takeaways from this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV:
♥    Motherhood can be so different to what you expect – you must prepare yourself for all aspects of matrescence.

♥    Make it a priority to find yourself new self in motherhood

♥    Learn to shift your mindset in motherhood to thrive

♥    Don’t be afraid to ask for help or support

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit the play button below and watch the full episode on YouTube

In this episode you will learn [podcast, TV]:

[3.30, 3.00]
It is so important to prepare yourself for becoming a mother. Not just preparation for labour and childbirth but preparing yourself for motherhood as well.

“The challenges I didn’t expect in motherhood threw me off for a good 9 months”

Check out my book I Wish Someone Had Told Me…to find out the things 1000 mums want you to know as you prepare yourself for labour, childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood.

[5.10, 4.40]
Motherhood is a big shift for most women. Dasha had never heard of motherhood being like she experienced it. She felt overwhelmed and says she was always thinking this is not right; this is not me.

“This is really not motherhood as I pictured it”.

[9.00, 8.30]
Every mother worries about their baby, and whether she is doing a good job. Motherhood guilt is very real, but you mustn’t let it rule you.

“My main worry was: I can’t be a good mum for him”

[11.40, 11.10]
The importance of catching yourself before you fall into the dark hole of motherhood – Dasha talks us through her steps of catching herself, and leading herself out of the darkness. She gives us step-by-step strategies starting with The Wheel of Life – check it out HERE.
Dasha says: it’s like a reality check.

[17.30, 17.00]
In motherhood you have to find out who you are and what it is you need to do for you. We are all so different in motherhood (learn more about this and how it affects you, from a presentation I did early 2021). You need to find what it is that is affecting YOU in motherhood and apply the tools to your personal circumstances.

“What about me now. What do I want and what do I need? I am a mother, but I am also still me”

[20.05, 21.35]
Taking control of your matrescence life and nurturing yourself is incredibly empowering – Dasha talks us through how you can make your motherhood life be what you want it to be, rather than letting life happen to you.

“I had to redefine who I was a mum. And who I want to be as a mum”.

[23.02, 22.32]
The mental load of motherhood is extreme – Hear Dasha’s expert tips on how to take some load off your mind, and how to care for yourself in the process.

[33.10), 32.40]
Don’t just focus on labour, delivery, decorating the nursey and choosing baby names. The hard work starts after labour. Not just with our children but we need to work on ourselves as mothers.

“Doing courses and asking for advice is not about expecting bad things to happen during motherhood. It is about equipping ourselves for the job of motherhood and the person we are as mom”

Mentions in this episode:

♥   Tough Mothers courses implement a three-step framework to:

1) help mothers understand how motherhood changes their brain
2) how to strengthen their brain by training it to thrive in motherhood.
3) Teach simple, specific exercises mothers can fit into their busy day to train their brain to thrive in motherhood

A little more about my guest Dasha Okonji:

Dasha is a Mum of three very active boys under 4 years of age. She is a work-from-home Mum and runs a Life Coaching practice. Her passion is to see people live in fulfilment. Dasha turned this passion into her profession, leaving a successful career in Management Consulting to see others enjoy the lives they want. Since becoming a Mum, Dasha has developed a programme called Mum-on-a-Mission which aims to help women truly be Mums they have dreamed of. Dasha uses a range of coaching tools in areas such as confidence, patience and calm; finding balance for work, family and self-care; achieving more without added pressure; and even improving connection with your partner.

If this interests you, check out Dasha’s website www.dashaokonji.com where you can get a Daily Purposeful Planner which helps busy Mums plan their days in a way that keeps them connected to their Life Vision.

HERE is a video about the Purposeful Daily Planner and how you can get access to it.

Dasha has also kindly given us access to:

A short video on self compassion and grace

An article identifying priorities

An article on managing your to-do list

Who is one person that would benefit from the information in this episode?

Forward it to them! There are icons at the top of this page to make that really easy.

Check out the Tough Mothers Library for more episodes

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN!

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

Leave a review for the podcast or on my YouTube channel, and you can win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

You are not alone!

Get amazing motherhood support in our private Facebook village. We would love to have you there.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?
Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie
In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Episode #16: The Power of Positive Births with Alana Swain

Episode #16: The Power of Positive Births with Alana Swain

For information, tips and support in your journey into and through motherhood follow Tough Mothers on Facebook and Instagram

“Motherhood ripped me apart and put me together with light”.

Alana Swain contacted me a couple of months ago and said: “I really want to share my birth stories with you. I had two incredibly empowering births, and I feel that people don’t talk about birth being a positive experience.”

I was so pleased for her email, because Alana is right! We don’t talk about positive birth experiences enough. Maybe this is in part due to the fact that most women don’t have positive birth experiences. Or also, as Alana mentions, because people think a positive birth is something to be ashamed of. Whatever it is, I believe that we need to share ALL the experiences. So, today I am honoured to share Alana’s story of her two births with you.

Alana’s conversation with me is so timely, as the amazing documentary Birth Time has just been released. If you get a chance, please watch it. Let’s all work together to give every woman an empowered birth experience. Not only because she deserves it, but because childbirth is the gateway into matrescence. And what better way to start our journey into motherhood than by feeling truly empowered.

In this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV, Alana reveals how she prepared herself mentally for childbirth and how hypnobirthing played a big part in her birth experiences. She also tells us about how her motherhood struggle transformed her, and we delve into how every mother needs to consciously prepare herself for matrescence.

Matrescence is the developmental transition women go through when we become mothers.
It is all encompassing – physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual.
Matrescence transforms us, that is why we feel different when we become mothers.

Key takeaways from this episode of the Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV:

♥    Every woman must have the opportunity to have an empowered birth. This will set mothers up better to thrive in motherhood.

♥    We actively must prepare ourselves for the transition into motherhood.

♥    Give your preparation for postpartum at least as much time and energy as your preparation for birth.

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit the play button below and watch the full episode on YouTube

In this episode you will learn [podcast, TV]:

[4.48, 4.18]
If you can get your brain out of the way your body knows what to do. Do you agree?

“Preparing yourself for anything to happen is important in childbirth”.

Check out my book I Wish Someone Had Told Me… to find out the things 1000 mums want you to know before you have your baby. More info below in Mentions in This Episode.

[7.06, 6.36]
The importance of mindset when giving birth – Alana talks us through her series of positive mindset exercises she used to train her brain and mind to be ready for a positive birth.

“At the end of the day the baby will be delivered. So that should be your primary plan to get the baby out safely, while caring for yourself at the same time.”

[11.32, 11.02]
Should I have a doula at my homebirth? – Know your boundaries and be clear with your caregiver what situations will lead to what outcome. For example, what situation will lead to a trip to the hospital.

“Having a home birth was the most empowering experience of my life!”

[22.59, 22.29]
Transitioning into motherhood is a time of great change – matrescence transforms women. Alana shares how becoming a mum of two came with challenges and resulted in “the 2 baby wobbles”.

“I don’t think we grieve the pre-mum us enough”

[28.58, 28.28]
There is so much information and talk leading up to the birth of our baby, but we really need to talk about motherhood more, and the transition that comes with it. Alana shares her tips for managing the matrescence transition.

“Childbirth is a blip in our lives compared to motherhood. Let’s talk more about motherhood.”

[36.00, 35.30]
The importance of finding your people/ your tribe / your village. Not just the ones going through it with you, but the ones that have already been through it.

“We need to talk about all of postpartum, not just postpartum depression.”

Mentions in this episode:

♥    I Wish Someone Had Told Me… – unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood.
Get your FREE E-book with the top 7 truths from the book HERE

♥   Tough Mothers courses implement a three-step framework to:

1) help mothers understand how motherhood changes their brain
2) how to strengthen their brain by training it to thrive in motherhood.
3) Teach simple, specific exercises mothers can fit into their busy day to train their brain to thrive in motherhood

Alana’s business Me-Moir was inspired by Alana’s grandmother who created beautiful photo albums for each of her nine grandchildren. Me-moir creates gorgeous albums where you can clip in photos at any stage – even later in case you missed anything! This system was designed to remove mum guilt and get photos off devices into a top-quality album that will last for years. It is an heirloom piece you can add to, so it grows with your kids.

You can find out more about Alana’s amazing albums at www.me-moir.com or on Facebook, or Instagram

Alana offers a free Facebook group for photo-keen mums which you are welcome to join HERE.

Who is one person that would benefit from the information in this episode?

Forward it to them! There are icons at the top of this page to make that really easy.

Check out the Tough Mothers Library for more episodes

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN!

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

Leave a review for the podcast or on my YouTube channel, and you can win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

You are not alone!

Get amazing motherhood support in our private Facebook village. We would love to have you there.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?
Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie
In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Episode #15: The 50 Shades of Motherhood spectrum – every mother sits on it, but did you know you can change your location?

Episode #15: The 50 Shades of Motherhood spectrum – every mother sits on it, but did you know you can change your location?

“Taking the time to train your brain to thrive in motherhood, is the most important self-care”

Download your FREE E-Book How to be a Happy Mother

For information, tips and support in your journey into and through motherhood follow Tough Mothers on Facebook and Instagram

This episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV is about as action-packed as motherhood.
It was such a pleasure to speak with Dr. Melissa Raymond from Your Journey to Healing in February 2021 for the Healthy Mums Health Families Summit.

We covered so much in our conversation!
From my journey into and out of postnatal anxiety, to the need to stop giving all of ourselves to motherhood, to the 50 Shades of Motherhood and how you can thrive amongst them all. There is even a FREE motherhood meditation in there that takes just a few minutes but will start you on your journey to training your brain to thrive in motherhood.

All mothers will benefit from this episode, because it:

♥    Teaches you about matrescence, the transition into motherhood – how it changes mothers’ brains and how you can use this transformation to truly thrive in motherhood.

   Explains the 50 Shades of Motherhood spectrum – a spectrum ALL mothers sit on – and teaches you strategies for how you can manoeuvre your way around the shades to initiate your happiness in motherhood.

   Gives you strategies to start training your own brain to truly thrive in motherhood. There is also a FREE E-Book for you to download to start the brain training (see mentions in this episode).

   Gives you a mother moment time-out: a powerful, yet brief motherhood meditation that will positively affect your brain and mind.

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.
Or hit the play button below and watch the full episode on YouTube.
Key takeaways from this episode [podcast, TV]:

[5.22, 4.52]
Is it true that the more of yourself you give, the better a mother you are?

“It’s easy to lose yourself in motherhood, but it is at your detriment.”

[6.27, 5.57]
Learn what matrescence is and why you must prepare yourself for the transition into motherhood before you become a mother.

“We are mothering in a completely different world – the village mums had is largely non-existent now.”

[11.40, 11.10]
Mama, are you aware of your thoughts?
How my negative thoughts created my negative motherhood experience. And how your negative thoughts can ruin your experience too.

“Don’t believe everything you tell yourself!”

[17.36, 17.06]
Learn about the 50 Shades of Motherhood spectrum that all mums sit on. What is it, where do you sit on it, and why you must know how to get from one end of the spectrum to the other. The visual spectrum is attached in the mentions in this episode below. Check it out and in the comments below let me know where you sit.

[23.20, 21.50]
Matrescence is the perfect time to work on creating the brain you want, so you can create the motherhood life you want. Learn how to do that in this episode.

“Don’t feel that just because motherhood is currently hard, that it will always be hard – you CAN train your brain to thrive and be happy!”

*Matrescence is the developmental transition women go through when we become mothers. It is all encompassing – physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual. Matrescence transforms us. We need to learn about it, so we can be prepared, feel we are not alone and learn tools for how to use this transition to thrive.

[26.00, 25.30]
Imagine if you trained your brain like you train your body.
Mental health needs to be treated equally to physical health, including the exercises we do. The effects the exercises have is exactly the same – the brain is like a muscle!

“For some reason somewhere along the line we separated the brain and the body, but they are very much connected.”

[28.40, 28.10]
Enjoy your FREE motherhood meditation – it only takes a couple of minutes and has powerful results.

“The brain doesn’t know what is real and what is not. Learn how to use this to your advantage and thrive.”

[35.25, 31.55]
It’s important to not lose ourselves in motherhood.
You can give yourself, but not all of yourself all of the time. Motherhood is a great time to learn to love your new self and your new life. Make sure you make yourself a priority in motherhood.

“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”- Carl Jung

Download your FREE E-Book How to be a Happy Mother
Mentions in this episode:

♥   Tough Mothers courses implement a three-step framework to:

1) help mothers understand how motherhood changes their brain
2) how to strengthen their brain by training it to thrive in motherhood.
3) Teach simple, specific exercises mothers can fit into their busy day to train their brain to thrive in motherhood

♥   Buy your copy of the paperback and Kindle/electronic version of I Wish Someone Had Told Me – unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour, childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood by Dr Jennifer Hacker Pearson PhD

♥   The 50 Shades of Motherhood spectrum – for more information about it and to work with Dr Jen click here

Who is one person that would benefit from the information in this episode?

Forward it to them! There are icons at the top of this page to make that really easy.

Check out the Tough Mothers Library for more episodes

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN!

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

Leave a review for the podcast or on my YouTube channel, and you can win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

You are not alone!

Get amazing motherhood support in our private Facebook village. We would love to have you there.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?
Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie
In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.