Episode #9: When your mind is not your own – One mother bravely shares her experience with Postpartum Psychosis

Episode #9: When your mind is not your own – One mother bravely shares her experience with Postpartum Psychosis

When your mind is not your own – one mother bravely shares her experience with postpartum psychosis

“I felt that my daughter wasn’t actually my daughter”

Right off the bat, I want to let you know that the conversation in this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV is different.

On this program we talk about many topics that are taboo, but postpartum/ postnatal psychosis is something we really don’t talk about.

Today Liz, a mum of boy-girl twins, and GP, is going to change that.

Liz very bravely shares with us her experience with postpartum psychosis after her children were born. She delves deep into how it felt and looked for her and why she had to manage her two years of psychosis alone.

I feel incredibly privileged to bring you this conversation. Not only because it is very personal for Liz, but because it gives us a first-hand insight into the mental health struggles mothers can experience, and so often don’t talk about.

I hope we can all take from Liz’s story the reminder that we must look out for ourselves and each other during motherhood. Always.

Please keep asking mothers if they are ok – some mums’ struggles are so internal that we have no idea what is going on inside them.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will:

  • ✓ Learn about postpartum/ postnatal psychosis and how it can manifest.
  • ✓  Be intimately privy to Liz’s thoughts and feelings during this time.
  • ✓  Discover how to support yourself if you are experiencing postpartum mental health concerns.
  • ✓  Understand how to ask for help, and help others.

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit play and watch the full episode on YouTube.

When your mind is not your own – one mother bravely shares her experience with postpartum psychosis
The important take-aways from this episode are:
  • Just because you wanted to a baby doesn’t mean you MUST love being pregnant, or enjoy it Podcast [10.20], TV [9.50]

There is no right way to be or feel during pregnancy. It is what it is for you, and you feel how you feel. And that is OK.

“It is ok to speak up about how you feel in pregnancy, even if it is not what society wants you to say”

  • Ensure you find professionals during pregnancy and motherhood that have your best interests at heart, and truly hear you and your needs Podcast [6.56], TV [6.26]

If the professional you are seeing does not resonate with you, or has different values or beliefs, PLEASE find someone new.

“She said: It was my own fault I had postnatal depression”

  • Mental health is as important (if not more important!) as physical health Podcast [13.13], TV [12.43]
  • Liz felt a slight onset of postpartum psychosis almost as soon as she brought her children home Podcast [18.10], TV [17.40]

“I still loved my daughter… I had very mixed feelings in me”

Psychosis is defined as losing touch with reality.

Postpartum psychosis is: a severe mental illness. It usually starts within the first 2-4 weeks after having a baby. Symptoms vary, and can change. They can include high mood, depression, confusion, irritability, decreased need for sleep, hallucinations and delusions. There are very effective treatments available.

Postpartum psychosis is not: a mother who has become crazy or “psycho”. Or is running around the streets wielding a knife, or any other such nonsense.

  • You don’t have to be in the grips of psychosis to have thoughts about harming your baby Podcast [23.10], TV [22.40]

Many mothers can relate to fleeting thoughts about doing something that will just “stop the noise”, but would never act on it.

  • Sometimes pharmaceutical medication is the first thing you need to get you on a path to wellness Podcast [24.30], TV [24.00

There is incredible stigma associated with pharmaceutical medications in motherhood. However, in situations like Liz’s, and other severe cases, finding a suitable medication is an excellent first step. If the mother is OK with it.

“Suddenly everything changed. It was like a magic pill”

  • The importance of speaking up and sharing your thoughts and feelings with family, friends or professionals Podcast [27.25], TV [26.55]

Speaking up is a major part in supporting yourself through your motherhood journey, and also to allow others to support you.

“I really wish I had told someone about it years ago”

  • Liz shares her advice for mothers who may be struggling with abnormal thinking or feelings they don’t want to share with anyone Podcast [31.50], TV [31.20]

Liz tells us how she brings up the topic in her practice with mothers who are struggling. And how this is a way anyone can bring up a topic with mothers too.

liz-harding-holding-baby

  • Liz reveals her silver linings of going through her difficult time Podcast [34.40], TV [34.10]

Hint: there are many!

  • We must start motherhood conversations. We must be the first to say how we truly feel Podcast [37.59], TV [37.29]

We must squash the taboo around mental health in motherhood.

“We are afraid that our thoughts and feelings will label us as a bad mother”

If you have concerns about your mental health, or are just not feeling yourself, please speak up.
Please please please!

I would love to hear from you

What insights did you have when you watched this episode?

How could these potentially change your motherhood experience and life?

Leave a comment below and tell us about it! Many mums come here to find support, and your experience or story may help one of them.

Who is one person that would benefit from watching this episode? – Share it with them through the icons at the top of this article 😉

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

And YOU CAN WIN!

Leave a review for the podcast  or on my YouTube channel, as I draw a random reviewer each month to win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get all the motherhood support at our village.

Mentions In This Episode

For neuropsychological support to thrive in motherhood check out Dr Jen’s personalised courses.

Liz is a keen and very accomplished long-distance runner. Our conversation started on a long training run and I am so honoured Liz shared her story with me, and now with you.

Starting conversations about our journeys in, and through, motherhood are of utmost importance to squash the motherhood taboos, and support each other.
Thank you, Liz!

 

Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?

Episode #8: Who am I now? – Your new identity in motherhood

Episode #8: Who am I now? – Your new identity in motherhood

Who am I now? – Your new identity in motherhood

“Losing myself [in motherhood] was my big thing – where had I gone, who was I now, why did nobody see me for who I was anymore?”

We’re shouting matrescence from the rooftops!

After starting the matrescence conversation in episode 4 of The Tough Mothers Podcast and TV, I had so many emails from mums saying they loved it and wanted to hear more about this topic (you can re-listen to the original matrescence episode HERE).

So, in today’s episode I bring you the matrescence marvel Linda Anderson. Linda is a life coach whose focus is on mothers during their matrescence transition, including their identity in motherhood. She is as obsessed with matrescence as I am, so together we are going to shout it from the rooftops!

Matrescence – the transition from woman to mother
– is one of the most life-changing transitions a woman will ever go through. We are changed – physically, psychologically, emotionally, socially and spiritually.

Becoming a mother is an exciting time!
So much happens to us as women – some things we are prepared for, but most things we are not.

Matrescence is a time of great change. Sadly, we are still not speaking about this transformation as often and openly as we should. Consequently, women are caught off-guard by motherhood. They feel there is something wrong with them, when really it is just matrescence.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:

  • ✓ What matrescence is, and how it is viewed in society.
  • ✓  Answer the question: who am I now I am a mother?
  • ✓  Why we must talk about matrescence openly with mums before they have their baby.
  • ✓  The things you must know to navigate the split that comes with matrescence

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit play and watch the full episode on YouTube.

Who am I now? – Your new identity in motherhood Youtube
The important take-aways from this episode are:
  • Matrescence happens to every woman when she becomes a mother. Yet, because we are all unique – biologically, physiologically and psychologically (just to name a few) – our experiences of matrescence are unique  Podcast [3.30], TV [3.00]

“I thought it was just me. I thought there was something wrong with me”

  • It is important to normalize the conversation around matrescence. It needs to become part of our everyday conversation. Not just for mothers, but every person should know what matrescence is. So, we can better support women as they become mothers  Podcast [5.38], TV [5.08]
  • Society tells us to “suck it up”. Just carry on like you did before, but now with a baby. Yet we are transformed.
    It’s like we have been denied the transition
     Podcast [7.15], TV [6.45]

We are setting women up with this false expectation of what motherhood is and what it will be.

  • Matrescence is similar to adolescence in its transformation. However, unlike adolescence, matrescence is not finite. It is an evolution within us  Podcast [6.56], TV [6.26]

“The world is letting us down: we need to speak about this massive experience”

  • The motherhood split!
    There is a feeling of being split in two when we become mothers – one half has gone into motherhood and the other half is the pre-baby us.
    This split feeling can carry on through life.
    Linda shares tips on how to deal with this split and relieve the disconnect and yearning of the “old me”
     Podcast [12.48], TV [12.18]
  • How to embrace our new life, and let it be what it is. The importance of striving for doing rather than doing it perfectly  Podcast [15.35], TV [15.05]
  • Matrescence is a real thing!
    Women need to be educated so they know about matrescence and don’t feel like they are alone in their experiences 
    Podcast [18.30], TV [18.00]

Knowing about matrescence offers women a language to express themselves

  • Why are we not talking about matrescence?
    What might be different in our life, and our experience as a mother, if we had the knowledge of matrescence before we have our babies?
     Podcast [19.38], TV [19.08]
  • Linda shares her tips on how to best prepare yourself for matrescence. (Make sure you also check out the links to Linda’s blog in MENTIONS IN THIS EPISODE for more tips)  Podcast [19.38], TV [19.08].23.50

“If you are struggling, don’t silence it. There is nothing wrong with you, please just reach out!”

I would love to hear from you

What insights did you have when you watched this episode?

How could these potentially change your motherhood experience and life?

Leave a comment below and tell us about it! Many mums come here to find support, and your experience or story may help one of them.

Who is one person that would benefit from watching this episode? – Share it with them through the icons at the top of this article 😉

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

And YOU CAN WIN!

Leave a review for the podcast  or on my YouTube channel, as I draw a random reviewer each month to win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get all the motherhood support at our village.

Mentions In This Episode

1. Order Dr Jen’s book: I Wish Someone Had Told Me – unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour, childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood

2. Watch or listen to the original episode on matrescence that sparked this conversation here

3. Find out more about Linda Anderson aka Linda On The Go www.LindaOnTheGo.com

4. Read Linda’s blog about matrescence for more tips here

Linda Anderson

Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?

Episode #7: Subconscious negative thoughts: what they are, where they are, and how you can change them TODAY

Episode #7: Subconscious negative thoughts: what they are, where they are, and how you can change them TODAY

Photo of Rebecca Anderson

“Our thoughts lie to us – we must remember that!”

As we go through matrescence – the transition from woman to mother – there are times when we will be plagued by negative thoughts.
For example: what if my baby stops breathing in the night?
Or: I should get the kids off their devices and outside more.
Or: I am a bad mother!

These thoughts will come.
However, we must be aware that they are there. Otherwise we give our subconscious negative thoughts the power to ruin our lives.

How do we prevent this?
We must take control of our mind, and thereby change our brain.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:

  • ✓ Our constant internal chatter dictates the quality of our life
  • ✓  What subconscious negative thoughts are
  • ✓  To identify your true thoughts – fact vs fiction
  • ✓  How subconscious negative thinking is destructive
  • ✓  The 5 evidence-based steps you can take today to change your subconscious negative thoughts

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit play and watch the full episode on YouTube.

The struggles and triumphs of pregnancy and motherhood in a foreign country
The important take-aways from this episode are:
  • We all have subconscious thoughts  Podcast [3.27], TV [2.57]

“Subconscious thoughts, our internal chatter, is always there, which is why it is so important that what we are telling ourselves is not negative”

  • In motherhood, and during matrescence, there are neurochemical changes in the brain which make subconscious negative thinking more prevalent Podcast [4.20], TV [3.50]

Matrescence – the transition from woman to mother – is one of the most life-changing transitions a woman will ever go through.
We are changed – physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.

  • Learn to be curious and discerning about your thoughts – find the fact from fiction Podcast [5.50], TV [5.20]

“Our thoughts lie to us ALL THE TIME!”

NB. By all the time I of course do not mean EVERY TIME!

  • Subconscious negative thoughts are extremely destructive. Apart from the obvious, there are 3 main reasons why Podcast 6.37], TV [6.07]
  • For the same reasons, subconscious positive thinking is so beneficial Podcast [8.17], TV [7.43]
  • You can start to change your subconscious negative thinking TODAY, with 5 simple evidence-based steps Podcast [8.50], TV [8.20]

“We must eliminate subconscious negative thinking as much as possible for a healthy life”

I would love to hear from you

What insights did you have when you watched this episode?

How could these potentially change your motherhood experience and life?

Leave a comment below and tell us about it! Many mums come here to find support, and your experience or story may help one of them.

Who is one person that would benefit from watching this episode? – Share it with them through the icons at the top of this article 😉

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

And YOU CAN WIN!

Leave a review for the podcast  or on my YouTube channel, as I draw a random reviewer each month to win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get all the motherhood support at our village.

Mentions In This Episode

1. You can purchase a copy of my book which Jackie T won
I Wish Someone Had Told Me… – unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour, childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood
https://www.ToughMothers.com/books

2. For neuropsychological support with your subconscious negative thoughts, and motherhood and matrescence head to https://www.ToughMothers.com/courses

3. Learn more about Dr Jennifer Hacker Pearson PhD
https://www.ToughMothers.com/about

Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?

Episode #6: The struggles and triumphs of pregnancy and motherhood in a foreign country

Episode #6: The struggles and triumphs of pregnancy and motherhood in a foreign country

Photo of Rebecca Anderson

“I didn’t realise what I was leaving behind”

Lydia Nicholson had all the support a mother could ask for when she had her first baby. Although her birth was traumatic – as first births so often are – she was surrounded by family, friends and a tight and incredibly supportive mothers group. She felt held, understood and supported.

When she was six months pregnant with her second baby Lydia, her husband and their 15 month-old moved to Paris, France, for her husband’s work. Ooh là là!
Sounds glamorous, doesn’t it?

It wasn’t.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV Lydia shares with us the challenges of giving birth and raising children in a foreign, non-English speaking, country. How her experience shaped her and changed her, and how she used her isolation and loneliness to go inwards to get to know herself and find what she needed, and how this allowed her to grow as a woman and mother.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:

  • ✓ The importance of resourcefulness – what to create for yourself if you are having/raising your baby away from your support network
  • ✓  Tips on how to combat sadness and loneliness in a foreign country
  • ✓  How to look for the silver lining in every cloud
  • ✓  The importance of meeting your own needs as a mother

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit play and watch the full episode on YouTube.

The struggles and triumphs of pregnancy and motherhood in a foreign country
The important take-aways from this episode are:

“It was really hard”

  • It is important to recognise our gifts in the present  Podcast [9.37], TV [9.07]
  • When you are pregnant and arrive in another country, you are not in their computer system. So, there are no notices that prompt you in regard to your pregnancy. It will always be in their language, and things are done differently Podcast [17.32], TV [17.02]

“That was the tipping point for me. I said: that’s it I’m going home”

  • Having a baby in another country is very different to having your baby at home – different health system, no family or support network, little to no knowledge of the language, no mothers group – the loneliness in comparison to having your baby at home is immense. Podcast [21.10], TV [20.40]

“I remember sitting at my dining room table breast-feeding my baby and having a woman over who was teaching me French at the same time”

  • Lydia’s advice for the early days: You must become resourceful when resources don’t come to you. Re-create what you desire, or what you left behind. Podcast [22.12], TV [21.42]
  • Become really observant. This leads to mindfulness and living in the present which allows you to tap into what you need, and can lift your mood. Podcast [23.10], TV [22.40]
  • Don’t underestimate the power of nature and getting into nature. Podcast [26.02], TV [25.32]

Studies have shown that time in nature can reduce depression1 and anxiety2, and can increase general wellbeing and self-esteem3 (References 1,2 and 3 below in Mentions in This Episode)

  • • You must actively go out there and find your people, your tribe, that can support and hold you as you go through matrescence. Podcast [27.31], TV [27.01]

Matrescence – the transition from woman to mother – is one of the most life-changing transitions a woman will ever go through.
We are changed – physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.

  • Lydia’s tips for women who feel motherhood is challenging, and they are not coping, especially if they are abroad.   Podcast [30.13], TV [29.43]

“Give yourself the credit that whatever it is you are doing, is coping”

  • Put yourself first – never apologise for having your own needs. It is through our needs being met, and our cups being filled, that we become better mothers to our children. Podcast [33.42], TV [33.12]

“Ask yourself: what do I need right now?”

  • It wasn’t all bad! There is a positive in everything, you just have to look for it. Podcast [34.49], TV [34.19]

“Growth, strength and determination comes out of situations like this”

  • Listen to your heart, not your head (or the chatter of other people). Follow your intuition and be kind to yourself. Podcast [40.31], TV [40.01]

I would love to hear from you

What insights did you have when you watched this episode?

How could these potentially change your motherhood experience and life?

Leave a comment below and tell us about it! Many mums come here to find support, and your experience or story may help one of them.

Who is one person that would benefit from watching this episode? – Share it with them through the icons at the top of this article 😉

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

And YOU CAN WIN!

Leave a review for the podcast  or on my YouTube channel, as I draw a random reviewer each month to win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get all the motherhood support at our village.

Mentions In This Episode

1. Berman, M.G. et al. (2012) Interacting with nature improves cognition and affect for individuals with depression. J Affect Disord 140(3):300-5.

2. Mackay, G.J & Neill, J.T. (2010) The effect of “green exercise” on state anxiety and the role of exercise duration, intensity, and greenness: A quasi-experimental study. Psychol Sport Exerc 11(3):238-45.

3. Barton, J., Griffin, M. & Pretty, J. (2012) Exercise-, nature- and socially interactive-based initiatives improve mood and self-esteem in the clinical population. Perspect Public Health 132(2):89-96

Credit to oxygen mask image: https://havingitaltblog.wordpress.com/2015/06/09/201569attach-your-own-oxygen-mask-first/

lydia nicholson

You can make an appointment with Lydia Nicholson for therapy at her clinic: https://www.TherapySpace.co.nz/LydiaNicholson
Or find her on social media: https://www.facebook.com/LydiaNicholsonTherapy
.

Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?

Episode #5: Life after losing your baby

Episode #5: Life after losing your baby

Photo of Rebecca Anderson

“After time, grief is a part of your life, but it is not your entire life anymore”

“You are going to lose your baby.”

What happens when your worst fear in pregnancy comes true?

In this very deep and personal interview Kara Peel, mum of three, talks about the tragic loss of her first baby, Lucy.

Lucy was born at 20 weeks.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV, Kara delves into her grief of Lucy’s death. She very courageously speaks about everything from how she felt leaving the hospital, to the all-consuming grief she experienced, to how she personally grew out of the trauma of losing her only daughter.

As baby loss, including miscarriage, is so common, I would like to advise that this episode may be triggering for some viewers and listeners. Kara really wanted to share her true journey with you as she is an advocate for talking about baby loss, the grief it brings, and the awareness we need to help raise to better support parents who have lost their child.

This is a must listen/view episode if you have experienced baby loss or love someone who has been through it, or is currently experiencing it.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:

  • ✓  About the grief of losing a baby
  • ✓  The taboos and societal expectations that exist around this type of grief
  • ✓  What you can do to support yourself through your grief – learn Kara’s best model and strategies
  • ✓  What everyone needs to know about supporting a grieving parent

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit play and watch the full episode on YouTube.

The important take-aways from this episode are:

  • When you lose a baby, no matter at what term, the grief of loss is all-consuming. Yet, even though it may seem impossible at the time, it can lead to tremendous personal growth Podcast [4.02], TV [3.32]

“When I left the hospital I remember how empty I felt. I had particularly empty arms because I had no baby to take with me.”

  • The 5 Stages of Grief are real and you may feel them all. However, grief is not linear.
    When you lose a baby, the grief you experience is your experience. There is no “right” way to feel, or order you must feel your grief in. Let it feel for you how it feels for you 
    Podcast [6.19], TV [5.49]

    The 5 Stages of Grief are a cycle that can include:

    – Denial and isolation
    – Anger
    – Bargaining
    – Depression
    – Acceptance

    Adapted from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ book On Death and Dying (full reference below in Mentions in This Episode)

  • Kara found a model “growing around grief” which resonated with her during her transition through her grief. She explains in detail: how it helped her, why it is so important, and how it could help others  Podcast [6.45], TV [6.15]

“I’d sit in the park and feel the sun, and it reminded me I was alive.”

  • Society has certain expectations of how you should handle your loss, and they are often not real.
    Find out Kara’s way to create your own expectations around your loss 
    Podcast [10.17], TV [9.47]
  • “I was a mother but people didn’t acknowledge me as being a mother.” Podcast [10.28], TV [9.58]

People are afraid to speak to mums about their loss. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to hurt them or because they don’t know what to say. However, it is important to recognising the mother, her baby and the trauma she has gone through. Kara has some amazing tips on what to say to a mother who has lost her baby.

“I craved for her name to be said – that acknowledgement that she existed.”

Mothers who have lost their baby may not have their baby in her amrs, yet they still go through matrescence, as well as coping with their loss and grief.

Matrescence – the transition from woman to mother – is one of the most life-changing transitions a woman will ever go through.
We are changed – physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.

  • We need to talk about grief surrounding the loss of a child much more in society. It is real, and it is common. We need to raise awareness and normalise baby loss. Grieving parents need to be supported properly Podcast [14.03], TV [13.33]
  • Learn the 5 little words you should say to any grieving parent Podcast [17.34], TV [17.04]

Listen to how you can support someone in their grieving, especially if you feel uncomfortable or don’t know what to say.

  • Kara’s best strategy she used during her grieving process Podcast [20.09], TV [19.39]

Find out what worked for her and what didn’t.

“Slowly I started to get a bit of a sense of self back.”

  • Grief can lead to personal growth Podcast [34.01], TV [33.31]

Baby loss grief is a different journey for everyone. Don’t let anyone tell you what you need; you need to feel what it is you need. In your own time you will gain strength and courage from your trauma and suffering. Eventually your life will grow back.

“It lead me down different paths in my life I would previously not have been brave enough to try”

  • It’s never too late to learn from, and address your baby loss trauma Podcast [37.29], TV [36.59]

You will know when you are ready. You CAN get through to the other side.

I would love to hear from you

What insights did you have when you watched this episode?

How could these potentially change your motherhood experience and life?

Leave a comment below and tell us about it! Many mums come here to find support, and your experience or story may help one of them.

Who is one person that would benefit from watching this episode? – Share it with them through the icons at the top of this article 😉

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

And YOU CAN WIN!

Leave a review for the podcast  or on my YouTube channel, as I draw a random reviewer each month to win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get all the motherhood support at our village.

Mentions In This Episode

The model of Growing Around Grief

The 5 Stages of Grief by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her book On Death and Dying

An explanation of this model can be found HERE

Kara used her courage and artistic genius to start her own business upcycling old furniture to make it new again.

Kara is incredible! Please check out her work.

Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox as soon they are released?

Episode #3: How to nourish yourself after having your baby

Episode #3: How to nourish yourself after having your baby

Photo of Rebecca Anderson

“We live in a society where our self-worth has become defined by what we look like”

Hands up if you want lose baby weight?
Or any weight for that matter?
Most mothers focus on bouncing back to their pre-baby weight or figure, at some stage after they have had a baby. But is this the right approach?

Internationally-recognised dietitian Rachael Wilson joins me in this episode to talk about how our bodies change when we have a baby, how we can learn to embrace our new figures, and how we should nourish ourselves to achieve optimum physical and mental health, not just to lose baby weight, but for a healthy motherhood life.

Rachael believes that we should throw out all the scales and measuring units, and instead focus on nourishing ourselves in a kind way – which leads to far better results.

How do you do this?

Rachael shares with us her tips to achieve this, and create a whole new, far better, relationship with our post-baby body.

In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:

  • ✓ How to nourish yourself in a kind and caring way
  • ✓ The importance of self-compassion and accepting your new body
  • ✓ Why real health comes from the inside and how to access it
  • ✓ Intuitive and mindful eating for your own individual genetic makeup

Hear the full episode. Simply click on your favourite podcast app below.

Or hit play and watch the full episode on YouTube.

 

The important take-aways from this episode are:

Statistics show 8 out 10 women feel bad about their bodies

  • You’ve carried a child, you’ve created a life! Your body will change  Podcast [5.30], TV [5.00]

This is a major part of matrescence and the transition a woman goes through when she becomes a mother.

Matrescence – the transition from woman to mother – is one of the most life-changing transitions a woman will ever go through. We are changed – physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.

  • We must let go of the perception of being the perfect mother and having the perfect body. It is not real!  Podcast [7.10], TV [6.40]

In this day and age when we don’t have a village to support us like we used to. We try to do it all, and it is just not possible to do everything “perfectly”.

“Children need to see us being imperfect, because life isn’t perfect”

  • Rachael’s tips for nourishing yourself after having your baby  Podcast [8.50], TV [8.20]
  • Acknowledge the change is normal
  • Self-acceptance
  • Mindful self-compassion (check out Rachael’s guided mindful body self-compassion audio practice in the Mentions In This Episode at the bottom of this article)
  • Studies have shown DIETING DOES NOT WORK!  Podcast [10.55], TV [10.25]

Find out what you must do instead to have positive outcomes for our physical and mental wellbeing.

“There is so much focus on getting our bodies “back”, there should also be more focus on the mind during the postpartum period”

  • We need to re-train our brain to achieve optimum physical and mental health Podcast [13.26], TV [12.56]

TIP: Don’t focus on the negative, but ask yourself: what can I do for myself in this moment to make myself feel better.

  • Gratitude is important in rewiring our brain, to lead to more fulfillment Podcast [18.40], TV [18.10]

It is also important to change our thinking around situations. Instead of saying ‘I look fat in my bathing suit’, saying ‘I give myself and my body the gift of swimming in the sea’ has a much more beneficial effect on our brain.

Start rewiring your brain
Exercise: List 3 things you are grateful for about your body

  • Research shows, it is our health behaviours that make us healthy, not the numbers on the scales Podcast [23.40], TV [23.10]

Do you have the right behaviours that are healthy for you?

  • In motherhood, preparation is key for when hunger suddenly shows up Podcast [30.20], TV [29.50]

Rachael is kindly giving us access to her E-Book to help mums with this, for FREE. You can download it in Mentions In This Episode at the bottom of this article. Did I mention she is us giving to us for FREE? smile

I loved this interview with Rachael!
Her unique way to lose baby weight, no matter how long since you have had your baby, will no doubt benefit many mothers.

Let me know in the comments what you think. And if you have tried it, let me know how it worked for you.
It certainly made me re-evaluate my eating behaviours.

My KEY TAKEAWAY (no pun intended) FROM THIS EPISODE:
We must be kind and compassionate to ourselves – when we are kind to ourselves, our relationship with our bodies, and subsequently with food, is much better.

 

I would love to hear from you

What insights did you have when you watched this episode?

How could these potentially change your motherhood experience and life?

Leave a comment below and tell us about it! Many mums come here to find support, and your experience or story may help one of them.

Who is one person that would benefit from watching this episode? – Share it with them through the icons at the top of this article 😉

SUBSCRIBE, REVIEW and WIN

Be sure to subscribe to The Tough Mothers Podcast or Tough Mothers TV .

And YOU CAN WIN!

Leave a review for the podcast  or on my YouTube channel, as I draw a random reviewer each month to win an amazing Tough Mothers gift.

 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Get all the motherhood support at our village.

Mentions In This Episode

The photoshopped baby

Even babies are photoshopped these days!
Image supplied by Rachael Wilson

Photos of real post-baby bodies
https://www.jadebeall.com/index/

The Food Tree (be sure to also check out their awesome programs!)
https://www.thefoodtree.co

Download Rachael’s Gentle Nutrition For Mums E-Book FREE 
https://www.thefoodtree.co/gentle nutrition

Rachael’s wonderful guided mindfulness body self-compassion audio practice. It’s only 14 minutes long and totally worth the listen. Access it HERE.

Mental Health Support Services

If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.

In Australia: www.healthdirect.gov.au
In New Zealand: www.mentalhealth.org.nz
In the USA: www.mhnational.org
In the UK : www.mind.org.uk
In Ireland: www2.hse.ie

In South Africa: www.safmh.org.za

If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.

 

Want every episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV straight to your inbox before they are released?