“I didn’t realise that out of my crisis the greatest gift would come”
I was lying on the couch wrapped in blankets. It was December in Australia, so it was hot! Yet I was shivering; my anxiety had total control of me.
My third baby was only a couple of months old, and unlike with my first two, the transition into motherhood pulled the rug out from under me. Literally.
I never intended to become a matrescence (the transition a woman goes through when she becomes a mother) and motherhood specialist. However, after I recovered from my postnatal / postpartum breakdown, I knew:
“If my strategy could help me, it could help other mothers”
And it has.
Tough Mothers and its courses were created to help mothers who, during matrescence, feel like the rug has been pulled out from under them.
Matrescence – the transition from woman to mother – is one of the most life-changing transitions a woman will ever go through.
We are changed – physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.
We are literally transformed. And we can use these changes, with some simple strategies, to create the life we desire, and become the woman (and mother) we have always wanted to be.
In this episode of The Tough Mothers Podcast and Tough Mothers TV you will learn:
- ✓ How gifts come out of struggles. Even when we think the struggle is a curse.
- ✓ The importance of learning about ourselves and our own brain
- ✓ How you can help yourself in motherhood
“The brain controls everything. We must be in charge of our brain and mind. Otherwise life will run off on us”
The important take-aways from this episode are:
- Birth does not always go to plan Podcast [5.20], TV [4.50]
It is important to have an ideal birth plan. However, it is more important to be flexible, as childbirth rarely goes to plan.
- You don’t know when the motherhood transition will knock you off your feet Podcast [13.32], TV [13.02]
You can experience psychological challenges that come with motherhood at any stage in motherhood – it could be with your first baby or it could be with your last (like it was with me).
The manifestation of the transition into motherhood is probably different; but the transition is the same for every mother
- You must have tools going into motherhood Podcast [16.40], TV [16.10]
The intricacies of the tools each mother must take into, and through, matrescence with her are individual. However, the tools themselves are the same.
- A good support network
- Sound knowledge of your brain and mind – and tools of how to influence them. The Tough Mothers courses can help you with this
- Work with an expert who can help you delve deep into your neuroscience and psychology, so you gain insight into yourself
- If you are stuck in life, you must look elsewhere for solutions. Podcast [23.13], TV [22.43]
You must open your mind to new ideas and possibilities.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results” – Anon
- The importance of inner work and mindfulness in our life Podcast [25.30], TV [25.00]
The key to inner peace is inner work. There is no shortcut or hack. The quicker we find our direction to what we need to do to become the person we want to be, the sooner we will feel contentment.
- Meditation – why we all should meditate every day Podcast [25.30], TV [25.00]
The scientific evidence behind the benefits of meditation are phenomenal. As a parent having a calm mind is imperative for a calm motherhood life. But it doesn’t just lead to calm, meditation also changes the brain for the better.
I have tried several forms of meditation but found Vedic meditation to be the best for my life because it is quick, effortless and noticeably transformative. Learn about the course I did HERE.
- As a mother you have to prioritise yourself – you have to be at the top of your pyramid Podcast [25.30], TV [25.00]
“If you imagine a champagne glass tower, where champagne glasses are stacked on top of each other. If the top glass (you!) isn’t full of champagne, nothing can trickle into the other glasses beneath it (your kids, your family, the rest of your life etc).”
- Because matrescence changes us, and our brain, we need to have a plan for ourselves during matrescence. Podcast [33.20], TV [32.50]
This plan must consist of tools and strategies specifically to the individual mother.
“Tough Mothers came about because I realised that we are sent into this massive life-changing transition of matrescence without a plan. And we really need a plan for ourselves in motherhood.”
- The tools and strategies we choose for ourselves rewire our brain Podcast [37.50], TV [37.20]
Our brains are individually shaped and wired due to our experiences and our actions – in the present and in the past. Tough Mothers takes your unique make up (your ingredients in your pantry) and helps you create an individual recipe just for you to bake your perfect cake, i.e. create the life you want to live.
“You must not lose yourself in motherhood – you have to make yourself comfortable in your new role.”
In future episodes, Marcus and I will be delving into the practical tools and strategies you can use, so be sure to listen and watch upcoming episodes. Or even better, REGISTER TODAY to receive each new episode straight into your inbox
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I would love to hear from you
What insights did you have when you watched this episode?
How could these potentially change your motherhood experience and life?
Leave a comment below and tell us about it! Many mums come here to find support, and your experience or story may help one of them.
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Mentions in this episode
The book: I Wish Someone Had Told Me… – unspoken truths about what really happens to women during labour, childbirth and the first few weeks of motherhood
Faster Deeper Bliss – 21 day meditation course with Tom Cronin
Tough Mothers Courses
Thich Nhat Hanh – Living Without Stress and Fear CD set
Champagne glass tower image courtesy of A Beautiful Mess
Mental Health Support Services
If the topics in this episode are triggering for you, or if you feel you need support, please contact you doctor or local mental health line.
If your country is not listed please search “Mental Health Line” in google in your country.